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Friday, April 13th, 2012

Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:1:41 am.
Mood: geeky.
These two movies are both of the 'cheap and cheerful' and 'totally bloody silly' school of b-movies - so bad they are actually kind of good.

Night Of The Lepus is a giant bunny sci-fi horror that tries to play it straight but is as silly as it sounds. The rabbits are shot 'Land Of The Giants' style to make them look big and there are lots of close ups of their prominent front teeth thrown in for good measure - but the bunny in Monty Pythons holy grail was scarier. DeForest Kelley (The doctor in the original Star Trek) has a large role and an even larger 70's moustache which is almost as silly as the giant rabbits. Harvey may not approve but I do.

Attack Of The Crab Monsters is Roger Corman at work doing what he does best. The effects are cheap the acting is creaky and the script is so leaden with bad exposition (and even worse science) that I almost cried because of the sheer genius of it all. A woman in a tight pointy sweater makes dinner for the male characters as the crab monsters attack their shack. Meanwhile 'scientists' deliver lines like "Preservation of the species. Once they were men, now they are crabs." matter-of-factly, implying that this is not only plausible and logical but actually explains everything.

It may well be deeply perverse but I love these films.
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Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:10:19 pm.
Mood: disappointed.
Imagine the Venn diagram: There is the circle of people who like zombie films, the circle of people who like boobs and where they overlap is the circle of people who like both - and right there is the market for this trashy Japanese offering. Sadly the zombie component of the film is a bit rubbish - and so is the boob component. Zombies Vs Strippers is not a new concept. The Americans have already done it at least twice (once with Robert Englund) and even this effort is based on a Manga series. The DVD does come with both 2-D and 3-D versions on the same disc and old school glasses are supplied but thats where the limited coolness ends. I havent been able to bring myself to watch the 3-D version yet because the regular format is just so very poor.
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Friday, July 30th, 2010

Subject:Big Tits Zombies
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:11:23 am.
Mood: amused.
The Prince Charles Cinema (London, near Leicester Square) has the UK Premiere of 'Big Tits Zombie' on September 17th. They are also offering free entry to anyone who arrived dressed as a big titted zombie. Seriously!

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Thursday, June 10th, 2010

Subject:Nastiest Film Ever?
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:12:19 am.
Mood: surprised.
I think I may have found the nastiest idea for a film ever. There may be films that are more graphic, but if you want to see a truly nasty idea then watch this trailer foe 'The Human Centipede' until the end:


If you would rather keep your mind clean, dont click the link. This may be advisable.
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Thursday, May 20th, 2010

Subject:Robot Holocaust (1986)
Posted by:druzhishe.
Time:9:47 pm.
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Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

Subject:Clash Of The Titans (remake)
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:10:47 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
I had one question about the Clash Of The Titans remake, would an 8 year old version of me be as blown away by this version of the film as the real 8 year old me was by the original? Obviously, that is impossible to answer definitively but having seen the film I have to say 'maybe.' The 36 year old me was distinctly unimpressed.
The 8 year old me would have been awestruck by the CGI. The 36 year old me was considerably less so. I found it hard to give a toss about anything in the film at all. Maybe the 8 year old me would not be so jaded and cynical, but he didnt have to pay for his ticket - I did. The Ray Harryhausen effects in the original have a charm and nostalgia value that I doubt this film ever will. Speaking of which this was the worst 3-D presentation I have seen yet. The parts of the film that were 3-D gained little from the process and massive chunks of the film were just regular 2-D and for this we were charged an additional small fortune! I will be sticking with the original, I think.
Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Subject:Weird Movie Weekend
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:11:14 pm.
Mood: pleased.
As a follow up to the dvd's I shared with friends last week I hosted another movie day at my flat this weekend. I polled my friends by text message during the week and the majority wanted to see more weird stuff.

Calamari Wrestler:
We started the double bill with this Kawaski classic. Its a Japanese film whose title is pretty much also the plot synopsis. It is the adventures of a half-human/half-squid professional wrestler. It could be any sporting movie ever - think Rocky but with tentacles. This went down fairly well.

I put up "Rug Cop" (another Kawasaki film) featuring a police officer with a projectile weapon hair-piece OR "For Your Height Only" a midget based James Bond spoof from the Philipines. Either film was broadly welcomed but we opted instead for a third choice...

Fido was a bit of a change of pace - a zombie movie that looks like Pleasantville and stars Billy Connolly ss the main zombie. Its funny and not exactly mainstream but only loosely qualifies as weird in my opinion, but qualify it did and was very well received even by the non-zombie fans in the room.

We have already decided to meet again for more next weekend and have set "Zombies" as the theme for the next time. Luckily thats one of my stronger areas but the trick will be finding the balance between movies that people havent seen before and movies that will still be fun to those who are not zombie hardcore.
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Saturday, February 27th, 2010

Subject:Japanese Movie Madness
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:9:53 pm.
Mood: awake.
I had a few friends around today to eat drink and be merry. We planned to watch some of the more bonkers dvds in my collection and chose a Japanese theme for what became a triple bill of nonsense.
I started the proceedings with the question "What do you want to see first - cute, scary or weird?" Debs, my former flatmate answered "All of those, in that order." Tom, a work colleague said "No, all of those at once." Nobody likes a smart-arse. "Okay, I think I can do that" was my response.

The first film I chose was House - a late 70's horror and supposedly Toho studios answer to the success of Jaws. Seven teenage schoolgirls being sweet and hanging out provided the cuteness. A haunted house plot line provided the horror. Just about everything else in the movie provided the weirdness. Many of the visual tricks used in the film have become very familiar to most movie fans but Im sure it was pretty revolutionary for Japanese cinema at the time. I really have never seen anything quite like this movie - and neither had my friends. Its not a great film but its unique and as mad as a box of frogs, the entirely unnecessary singing cat sequence in particular.

The second movie was the film I had always intended to share. Big Man Japan is the story of a man who can turn himself 100 meters tall and fights monsters Godzilla-style to defend Japan. Most of the film is shot documentary style, with interviews with the guy in question. Everything about the character screams of a life that is in decline. His wife has left him and taken their daughter, he is chronically underpaid and being the 6th generation Big Man Japan he has seen the status and popularity of the position slide into public apathy and hostility. These are inter-cut with a series of monster battles of decreasing success which does nothing to halt his general decline. The monsters are all imaginative and hilarious (although the CG is a little cheap) and all in all it is a surprisingly well put together and thoughtful movie, but still quite mad.

We closed out the triple bill with Tokyo Zombie. Ive recently reviewed this so I wont go into detail. Watching it in the company of fellow Shaun Of The Dead fans it was even more clear how much the second act of this movie really sags - though it was still enjoyed by all as far as I can tell.

When I get ny copies of Calamari Wrestler and Executive Koala back from my friend who has borrowed them we plan to do this again but in the meantime we may have to watch some movies that are marginally less nuts.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

Subject:Thai & Japanese Zombies
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:10:53 pm.
Mood: amused.
This past week Ive been watching some of the newer dvds I have bought - among them some cosmopolitan additions to the zombie genre.

'Sars Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis' is the Thai offering. You may expect a Thai zombie film with this sort of film to be pretty bloody silly and you would be right. The problem is that sometimes it tries a little TOO HARD to be silly, with poor results. In terms of its production values and general aesthetic its not a million miles away from some of the better Troma releases but my expectations had been built up by the great title - only to fall as flat as too many of the jokes in the film had done.

'Tokyo Zombie' pushed more of the right buttons than the other film. It proudly proclaims itself to be the "Japanese Shaun Of The Dead" - a proud claim that it almost lives up to, but not quite. It does have some good laughs and some nicely understated performances from its central pair of characters. Its based on a very successful comic and is quite a lively adaptation. Its good clean zombie fun, not as good as its own hype but still pretty good.
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Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Posted by:internetcouple.
Time:6:33 pm.
Mental Patients Review Shutter Island:
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Thursday, October 29th, 2009

Posted by:pinkyssj4.
Time:7:28 am.

More movies have been added to MovieCinema

· 13 B

Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

Subject:Apologies! Minesweeper: The Movie (wih correct link)
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:12:07 am.
Mood: embarrassed.

Great satire/parody!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

Subject:Minesweeper: The Movie
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:12:04 am.
Genius parody of basing movies on computer games:

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Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

Subject:most redundant question ever
Posted by:evilgrins.
Time:12:11 pm.
Mood: bored.
With numerous films to draw from, and more than enough time to waste if you decide to go there, who do you think would win in a fight between Jason Vorhees and Michael Meyers?
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Monday, August 17th, 2009

Posted by:pinkyssj4.
Time:9:27 pm.

The following has been added to MovieCinema

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus
Posted by:shaved_ape.
Time:12:19 am.
Mood: excited.
I was flicking through Empire, the film magasine over the weekend and I came across this film, MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS. It looks awesome. Its one of those films, like Snakes On A Plane whose title (which also serves as plot summary) does exactly what it says on the tin!
The picture in the magasine showed an impossibly huge shark biting the Golden Gate Bridge! Whats not to like.
I plan to track this film down and have its babies.


(hope the link works, if not just google the title. You wont be sorry.

This week I have been mostly reading: Dawn Of The Dumb by Charlie Brooker
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Monday, July 13th, 2009

Posted by:evilgrins.
Time:1:00 pm.
Mood: uncomfortable.
When was the last time you saw a movie that you were sure was a wholly original concept...or at least not a remake of something?
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Subject:NEW Dolph Lundgren Interview
Posted by:andreaknoll.
Time:10:54 am.

Dolph Lundgren on Sly Stallone, JeanClaude Van Damme, Arnie Schwarzenegger, The Expendables, and the return of the classic action man.

Click HERE to read.

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Saturday, May 30th, 2009

Posted by:glittergelfling.
Time:6:08 pm.
Mood: amused.
Poultrygeist-the best bad movie I've watched in a long time. Basic premise is they build a KFC-type restaurant on an old Indian burial ground.

Generally offensive in true B-movie fashion, but it does include one fantastically offensive line that will forever stay with me: Eat my meat you vegan whores.

How can you go wrong with that?
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Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Subject:no chance whatsoever this will be good
Posted by:evilgrins.
Time:1:11 pm.
Mood: okay.
7:18 PM 4/13/09 · The original film Feast was perfection, even moreso than this kinda film is likely to go. Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds made me wish for the first time ever I wasn't completely opposed to the concept of suicide...

...so, finding out there's now a Feast 3 I have no expectations at all that it's going to be even remotely good. There's a slim chance it could be better than the second one but not much beyond that.

after having watched it...Collapse )

If you like a lot of pointless blood and gore then this movie is for you. It's got a strain of dark humor to it which is a slight boost. If you're into tattooed topless girls with big bazongas you might like Feast 3: the Happy Finish but I make no promises.
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